Major record label in financial crisis after teen uploads music track to YouTube

Music company Warner Music Group is in severe financial trouble after a teenager uploaded a track to video sharing website YouTube, it has emerged.

On 13th June, 2011, 14-year old Jordan Smith uploaded a videogame montage to YouTube which featured the track Hysteria by Muse as background music. This has led to mass disruptions to content owner WMG’s business due to the fact that music fans can now listen to the track for free in Jordan’s video instead of paying money on a service such as mflow or iTunes for the song.

Jordan first became aware of the damage his low-resolution video was doing to the music industry when WMG filed a copyright claim on his video. He soon disputed this claim, saying that he felt that featuring the song would encourage fans of his videos to buy Muse albums, however this was rejected and his video was removed.

A representative from WMG said “I find it appalling that today’s youth find it acceptable to deliberately damage our business like this. The fact that his video is playing the song to a massive audience who weren’t even aware of the band’s existence beforehand for free has meant that we have lost a significant number of sales which is leading our business into crisis.”

“We feel it is necessary for young people to be aware of how their online actions can damage entire industries like this, and that as the bands themselves only receive a very small cut of the sales money it is important that their albums sell in large numbers to make it worth their while to keep making music.”

Flamenews will keep you updated.

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Online role-player actually has a social life

A man who plays Role-Playing games on the internet turns out to be fully capable of interacting in public, reports have shown.

Jason Jetson, 22, has been playing text-based “RP” games on internet forums under the username “JJ120” for the past five years, however this week it has been discovered that he actually has a steady job at a supermarket as well as even having the occasional night out with friends. This is a contrast to many of his Role-Playing peers who stay committed to their games.

Some other RP players have not taken the news well. RP fan jamesthekid told Flamenews “I’m a little hurt about this shocking revelation, if I’m being honest. I just feel betrayed at the idea that whilst me and Hacker09 were levelling up and finding weapons for the team, Jason was sneaking out and having a beer with his mates”.

Flamenews will keep you updated.

Local policeman is ‘a bit of an idiot’

A previously respect police officer has today been called an ‘idiot’ by a local villager, reports say.

Policeman Joseph Winston has been working in the police force for the last three years and has been responsible for 12 reported accidents and is known to have fallen out with most other staff.

Flamenews spoke to resident John Sampson who said “this man is a bit of an idiot. He turned up to my house after it had been burgled to investigate. I told him what had been stolen – my flat screen television – and instead of trying to look into it, he went on about how his cousin had only recently got hold of one after looking around for years. He then went and helped himself to some coffee (which he managed to spill over the carpet). This man should not be in such a high role.”

Despite his newly-earned reputation, Winston has been keep to help improve the police force. When interviewed by Flamenews he told of his recent suggestions, such as longer lunch breaks, and replacing sirens with Nickelback records so people are likely to move out of the way faster.

Flamenews will keep updated with details.

Rise in TV advertisement addiction

More and more people are being treated for addictions to television adverts, reports say.

There is currently no known cause for the issue, however some doctors are blaming the use of creative slogans and bright colours. Mental health expert Donna Tee told Flamenews – “modern day advertisements are too interesting for certain people, such as the children and the idiots, to ignore. As a professional I believe companies should return back to the days where advertisements were bland and boring.”

Not everyone agrees with this. Long time sufferer Aidan Lawson told Flamenews – “I just love the appeal of these advertisements. Every time I see the Andrex Puppy knocking toilet roll everywhere I have to rewind it on the Sky+ and watch it again. I honestly don’t know why.”

Doctors are continuing to research into the causes.

Google to launch mind-reading service

Web giant Google is to launch a new search feature which does not rely any typing.

The company recently launched “Google Instant” which means that a user will no longer have to click the search button to find results, but Google is looking to take search convenience to the next level.

This service, titled “Google Mind”, takes what a person is searching for and loads up the page for them, without them having to type a letter.

Google are launching a new search service. (© Google)

Google spokesman Wallace Johnson told Flamenews – “the service is truly revolutionary. At Google we are dedicated to making our search facilities easy for our users to make use of, and Google Mind makes it more convenient than ever to search for what you need.”

Due to the availability of information from inside the human brain Google will now be able to match targeted advertisements perfectly to the correct people.

Google Mind will launch October 19th.

Bass players actually ‘more awesome’ than guitarists

Bass players are actually more awesome than guitarists, new research proves.

Although previously thought to be the most awesome member of the band, it has turned out that actually the lead guitarist is not as awesome as the bass guitarist.

A bass guitar. Bass guitarists are now officially recognised as awesome.

Industry insider George Dawn told Flamenews – “It’s not really a shocking discovery. Whereas a singer or a lead guitarist needs to run and jump around on stage to be noticed, the bass player can just stand in his spot and play, making him awesome.”

This discovery has encouraged band The Party Play Band to try a new, bass heavy sound on their new album. Band frontman Ziggy Winston told Flamenews – “As we now know bassists are awesome, we have gone for a heavy bass sound, with all four of us playing bass instruments. Play this album through good speakers and it’ll feel like an earthquake!”

Flamenews will keep you updated.

Wikipedia used for school textbooks

Education materials company CheapSkayte are using Wikipedia for school textbooks.

The textbooks, aimed at 10-13 year olds, are said to be unique as most of the content was originally written by teenagers making it easier for the children to relate to. Instead of repeating facts already taught to the children by their teacher, children will learn interesting facts such as the following:

  • A stranger’s girlfriend was born on 4th September 1989.
  • Paul McCartney is dead.
  • Atlantic Records suck

The children will also learn which episode of the Simpsons each article was referenced in and how various members of the community reacted to various actions.